Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

Keeping the Spark Alive

Today I went to the local IRS building to drop off some paperwork for work.  On the way, I stopped at a local cafe frequented by state workers who were busily ordering their turkey hoagies and roast beef wraps.  What I noticed had nothing to do with the food, but rather the bleak atmosphere that surrounded the cafe.

There’s something innately wrong in the way we go about our daily lives as a society.  We repeat our days as if they’re endless, following the footsteps we left behind yesterday and the day before that and the weeks and months that lead up to the moments that come next.  Breathing the same air, we drive to work with the same thoughts, the same trepidations, the same anxieties.  It saddens me to think that the opportunity given to us, placed here in the middle of this world as small dots in an endless and infinite universe, could be spent in such a mundane fashion.

I concede that I have no resolution for this.  Money does get kids through college, allow us to take vacations, pay our medical bills, and feed our families.  But what is life without exploration and change?  What good is college if we only end up burned out and beer bellied.  There must be another way.  There must be some road that leads to creativity and movement rather than conformity and stagnation.  Maybe Jack K. was right when he professed “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!””  Maybe Henry David Thoreau was right when he said we should live as simply and effectively as possible, “I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born.” With no thoughts of tomorrow, just the needs of the here and the now.

Maybe there is a medium between these two extremes.  Maybe we can find a way to circumvent the repetition of a 9 to 5 while still holding on to the values established by society.  It’s hard to imagine a world in which all of our problems disappear into perfection, but its even harder to imagine a world where passion runs dry and dreams cease to exist.  The difficulty, then, is persisting through the worst in order to keep our ability to imagine the best, and never losing the creative side of our hearts and minds.  I don’t want to be content to the point of giving up.  I want to be in constant motion, to feel every pain and every breath.  Maybe it’s selfish, but I just can’t see myself losing my essence for the sake of making a living.

I suppose all of this thinking is in vain if action is postponed.  I don’t know how to “drop everything”, like we did in grammar school when our teachers hurdled us into a corner to read.  I do know, however, that the energy that exists in my brain will constantly be flowing towards this end, and I will always imagine what is better and will strive to find the energy to push through the temptation of complacency.  This all might be Sisyphean, but I will keep pushing the rock until I find a way around it.

We are given a life, and it is a shame not to use it to the fullest.  We must strive everyday to do just that, and never let the world get the best of the passionate beings that we so often hide.


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Random Monday

It’s late.  Not overly late, but late enough that I should be in bed sleeping to wake up adequately refreshed for work tomorrow.  For some reason I can’t sleep though, and I decided to write.

Lately I’ve had a lot of ideas running through my head.  They run in no particular direction and without a known goal, but they run fast and are fleeting enough to fortget them in a few minutes time.  For this reason, I’ve been collecting some of these thoughts in a nifty little program called EverNote that I found awhile back and just recently discovered.  You should check it out if you, too, suffer from scurrying thoughts:


Anyway, since I’m apparently too scattered as of yet to categorize these little brain trinkets into something discernable, I will spare the reader (you, I suppose) the trouble of trying to dechiper tem now.  Maybe at a later date.

I’ve been thinking a lot about reading and writing.  I’m not exactly what I’d like to read and write, but I know my brain is heading in the direction of putting something together that is suitable for mass consumption (10-12 people will do just fine).  I just feel like I need to do something a bit bigger than what I’ve been doing as of late (which is not much of anything, as it turns out, when it pertains to writing words or music).  I have this amazingly terrible desire to reach people, as much as one human can reach another, with something meaningful and honest and true.  Whether that is entirely possible, I don’t fully know, but the amygdala in my brain seems to light up with intense passion whenever I think about it, and I feel that its the right thing to shoot for. 

I think this drive has to do with some inate desire that I have to understand people.  Maybe, its actually a desire to understand myself, but I think listening to others and having them define themselves is as close as I’ll ever get to understanding where these thoughts appear from in my own head.

Do you ever have a vision of how you would like your life to be, but realize about 10 seconds into it that its not possible?  I think a bit of that is going on now and its painful the truth might be.  My brain is making up for the hassle of thinking clearly by formulating nonsenical ideas to compensate for the very honest things that scare me. 

I’m considering posts about health care, volunteerism, capitalism, socialism, freedom, music, poetry, meaning, and life.  I have ideas on all of these things, and I believe that they might actually be worthwhile, but my thoughts on the aforementioned topics, or anything else worthwhile, are so fleeting that capturing the images that run through my head seems harder than beating Pacman((r)?).   Maybe I should just talk into a microphone and post that, although I dont know if anyone will actually be interested in listening (including me).  On the other hand, what are blogs for if they are not for opening one’s mind for the rest of the world to see, in all its raw and unpolished glory.

I’m not going to read this before I post it, because otherwies it would never be posted.  Maybe its because its late and I’m not really making too much of an effort to consolidate my thoughts into coherent sentences or ideas.  Maybe this is just how my brain works and I am being as honest as possible.  Maybe I just need to type things out to get them out of my eager head so I can go to sleep for a few hours before waking up for another day of racing thoughts.

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I usually don’t write anything this early, mainly because it takes me all day to think of something decent to say (or in the case of this blog, a week or two). However, I just watched an amazingly beautiful short video created by a talented individual by the name of William Hoffman, and I thought I’d share it with you.

I saw the video, “Moments,” as part of a running series that has been meditating on death on WNYC’s RadioLab (an amazing show in its own right). “Moments” doesn’t need much explanation, other than you should watch it, so without further ado, here it is:

I hope you enjoy it and have a wonderful rest of the day.

Think happy thoughts 🙂

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There’s so many stars in LA that its hard to come here and miss one of them (big or small). Bret and I didn’t just meet a star, we stayed with her!

Her name is Juanita, and she starred in an episode of Scrubs a few years back when she was much, much smaller. Here’s a clip from her guest appearance:

and here’s a picture from my phone!


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I’m Dying

I’m dying.
Every day, the cells that bind me together disintegrate into their loosely associated molecular mixtures, tied delicately to the energy that makes my mind and body run. Every day, pieces of you and me fall victim to cuts and scrapes, gravity and wrinkles, time and distance. The things that give us hope for our futures slowly become realities of present quickly moving into memories of the past. The sacrifice of cells means so much more than just this bitter truth.
I’m living.
My cells divide and meiosis and mitosis and creation and formation of energy generates action in my body. I create and explore and commit and cave and capture and collapse and hate and love. I feel and touch and taste and see and hear. I believe that I am free and my hands affirm this truth with every touch of skin and lips and legs and chest and breasts and bones. I’m alone but together with the rest of the world. This is my experience. This is our lives.

Nebula - NASA Hubble Image

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Facebook Widget?

I have no clue what this does, but Facebook told me to add it, so I complied.

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Coffee Flavored

Life is like ice cream.

If you eat it too fast, you won’t have time to savor it, but if you eat it too slow, it will melt before you get to enjoy it.

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