Archive for August, 2008

The Homestretch

Sometimes I get extremely overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed with work, overwhelmed with obligations, overwhelmed with the blissful realization that I am doing something that I love, overwhelmed with the thought of another year before I can realize it, overwhelmed with the thought of not doing it for the rest of my life, overwhelmed with the thought that someday, hopefully many days from now, I will not be on this earth to enjoy it.

We as humans have these wonderful and terrible mechanisms in our brain that allow us to think, to feel, to love, to hate. We can feel exuberant and full of love and hope, and yet slide into a pit of despair within mere seconds. This ability overwhelms me everyday. I can’t believe how many years have passed and how many feelings I have felt, and still I lack the slightest idea of what feelings tomorrow will bring. It is exhilarating and exciting and amazing, and yet at the same time it is the scariest feeling in the world.

We pour countless hours of thought into the concept of an afterlife or lack thereof, but we spend little time conceptualizing the unknown of tomorrow and how we can make it better. It is a struggle we all must face, and balancing those moments that waiver between overwhelming emotions is an ongoing battle.

Sometimes I get sad thinking about the next year and how difficult it may be. But there are moments, albeit microscopic fragments of time, that I know things will be ok, and that this world will still turn on its axis, this heart will still beat until fate removes the rhythm, and the music will still play.


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